The Ark, The Barge, And The Ship

The Ark, the Barge, and the Ship

Recently I had a conversation with the leader of a local congregation where I attend church. We sat down and had a long discussion about the trials I have going on in my life at this time. I expressed that I felt lost. I had told him that I had, until recently, felt as though I was in a river. I had moved to Maine my sophomore year of high school. I knew I wanted to graduate high school. After that, I knew I wanted to serve a church mission. I then wanted to return, find gainful employment, go to school, find a wife, have some kids, and continue on. Every step in my life seemed to naturally progress to the next stage. It flowed forward naturally. And I had achieved each one of these goals. I was where I wanted to be. But now, in light of recent events, I find myself stagnant, seemingly lost or stuck, and without a clear path or course in my life. I expressed my frustration to my leader who gently and kindly replied, "Where do all rivers eventually lead? The Sea or Ocean. That is where you are at right now." I told him that I did not like not knowing my path. It was a new and uncomfortable feeling. He advised me to read up on Nephi and the Liahona (a compass which worked by faith which was given to guide the Book of Mormon prophet and his family to the American Continent) and see what I could learn from that.

So that's what I did. I actually found the 3 instances where the Lord commanded someone to build a boat in the scriptures. The first is from the Bible, the other 2 are found in the Book of Mormon. The first is about Noah and the Ark. The second is about the Brother of Jared and the barges. Finally, the third is about Nephi and the boat he was commanded to build. After researching these 3 separate and distinct stories, I was surprised to find so many similarities and some minor but important differences. The more important difference in the 3 stories is the succession of what the Lord wanted these prophets to learn. Allow me to explain:

The story of Noah is  likely known to all of us. Of course I am referring to the biblical account and not the abomination which is the newly made movie. In the Bible, God commands Noah to build an ark so that a few righteous souls and other animal life would be saved from the impending and utterly destructive flood. The end goal of the Ark was to survive. The Lord commanded Noah to construct the ark in a very specific fashion in order to withstand the rains and floods. Noah obeyed, and the Ark floated upon the waters. The ark had no other purpose other than to survive and preserve the inhabitants therein. It succeeded in completing its mission and purpose after about a year of floating upon the water, allowing the passengers to exit the ark and repopulate the world.

The story of the Brother of Jared in the book of Ether from the Book of Mormon recounts the story of a family that was at the tower of Babel, as told in the Bible. The family, lead by a man referred to as the Brother of Jared, was favored of the Lord when they humbled themselves by begging the Lord to spare them from having their language confounded at the instance of the tower of Babel. The Lord then commanded this family to depart to the coasts of the land they were on. The Brother of Jared was further commanded there, by the Lord, to construct a vessel, later referred to as a barge. The Lord commanded the Brother of Jared to construct the ships in a manner that many of us would imagine to look like a submarine. The barges' purpose was to bring them from the landmass they were on, to a new land that was a promised and beautiful place. The barges were designed to be "tight like unto a dish" and would have two openings should the barge overturn. From how the ship is described, there was no sailing nor steering mechanism. In order to reach the promised land, they would have to simply have the faith to be carried there by the waves and winds. It took nearly a year, but they reached the promised land and gave thanks.

The story of Nephi and the boat tells of Nephi and a very similar commandment to build a ship. Nephi too was told after which manner to construct the boat and was given the same mission: to sail to the promised land. Like the Brother of Jared, Nephi was full of faith and did everything he was instructed to of the Lord. Unlike the Brother of Jared, however, Nephi and his family had been given a device from the Lord that would help guide them to the promised land -- the Liahona. The Liahona acted similarly to a compass by our standards, but did not simply point north. This "compass" would point in the direction to where the Lord desired them to go and it would work only "according to their faith". Nephi and his family set off for the promised land and soon ran into problems. There is dissension amongst members of the family and there began to be infighting. The family begins to lose faith in God and the compass ceases to work. About that same time they hit a massive storm which threatens to destroy the ship and its passengers. Fearing that they would perish, the dissident members of the family repent and the storm ceased. The compass began to function again, in accordance with their faith, and they reached the promised land.

So what did I learn?


In the story of Noah, the Lord wanted Noah to obey and survive. That was it. The Lord simply asked Noah to listen and obey. Noah did this, and the Lord kept his promise that they would be spared. Sometimes, the Lord simply asks us to float. He wants us to trust in Him that we will "make it" and that we are in his power. Noah didn't receive a promised land, but rather an opportunity to preserve the lives of his family and the animal life. This was still a brilliant blessing in and of itself.

In the story of the Brother of Jared, the Lord wanted him to build the barges without means
by which to steer them and trust that the Lord would take them to a new place where He wanted them to be. Once again, this required trust and faith, but with an element that was different from the story of Noah: Instead of just surviving and continuing, the Lord intended for them to thrive and to prosper in the promised land. The Lord teaches us the lesson in this story that sometimes the past is behind us, and there is a precious new life ahead of us. We may not know how we are going to get there, but if we trust in Him that He knows best and will guide us, we will be OK.

In the story of Nephi, the lesson to be learned was that sometimes the Lord allows us to choose our path. Never doubt that The Lord still has a destination in mind, but wants us to exercise our faith to get us there. Sometimes we are given a ship and a means to get there. This can be likened unto the spirit. IF we are worthy, we can use the spirit to guide us along the route that leads us to the promised land. The spirit may take us through the storms, but this is sometimes to avoid the dangerous reefs that would leave us destroyed and marooned. If we heed our "compass", we too can obtain the promised land and revel in the satisfaction that the Lord loved and trusted us enough to be part of the process of getting there. We then are appointed Captains, having learned eternal truths that come only from personal experience. Having gained this experience, we are now better equipped to help others on their way and can be as a lighthouse upon he shores for others to look towards for guidance.

I am thankful for this time in my life. I don't like it, but I am thankful for it. More so, I am thankful for the Gospel in my life which has helped me to interpret my trials as ways for me to learn and grow, rather than merely has tests to suffer through. Like any other test, we can look at it from two perspectives. First, we can choose to feel punished, abandoned, or alone. Like a test in the classroom, tests can cause anxiety and stress. And as I felt sometimes in High school, I felt that pop-quizzes were given to us out of some cruel punishment by some of my teachers. Or second, we can choose to view our tests as an opportunity to show our stuff, to prove what we have learned. Without testing, we would never have a need for gaining knowledge. I can tell you that I never would have cared nor bothered to learn the state capitals if it wasn't for the tests on the in my grade-school years. I have not been to all the states and have not truly ever needed to know that information for any other purpose, but to this day can recall nearly all the state capitals from memory. I memorized this information because of a few tests so many years ago. We can choose to view our tests as rungs to be climbed on a ladder bringing us to higher and better places.


I know that each of us can learn from these experiences. I have been in each of these positions in my life. At times, I feel like I am just being asked to survive. And that's OK. If the only thing we learn from this is the Faith to "Be still and know that I am God", then it is a victory in and of itself. The Faith to believe that even though we have not "moved" per se, that we have nevertheless grown and progressed. At times, I have been carried upon the waters without the ability to steer. Whether i liked it or not, I had to place my trust in the Lord and believe that the Lord was "see(ing) if (I) will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command (me)." And finally, there have been times when there seems to be smooth sailing, because I have been following the compass. But then the storms come, and sometimes we focus more on the storm and the waves and the sails than upon he compass and we lose sight. But if we can refocus our attention upon the compass and where it comes from and where it is leading us, we can navigate the murky waters and find the land prepared for us by the Lord.


I love my Savior who loves all of us and wants us to learn from each of these examples at the appropriate times in our lives. Which one of these lessons do I need to learn at this time and in this trial? Well... maybe a little of each. That has nit yet been revealed to me, but I know that the Lord will make it all clear to me in the end. I am thankful for the knowledge and testimony I have of Him and His Atonement.

The Grudge

The Grudge

First off, let me say that the word “Grudge” is one of the worst-sounding words in existence. I understand that is my opinion, but I invite you say it out loud…. “grudge”…. Blech. Try to say it and not throw up a little bit in your mouth. Not only does it sound bad when spoken aloud, but the meaning behind it is equally as bad. What does the word grudge mean? Webster’s dictionary states: Grudge - a strong feeling of anger toward someone that lasts for a long time. Dictionary.com states: Grudge - a feeling of ill will or resentment. So a grudge is not a very good thing to have from the sounds of it. This is likely why you very rarely hear someone admit to holding a grudge. In fact, most people are VERY quick to state that they do NOT hold grudges.

I had an interaction with a person recently who very adamantly stated that he “Did not hold grudges”. I wonder if he knew the definition of this word. Remember, a grudge is a strong feeling of anger that lasts for a long time, or resentment. The issue or problem that occurred between this person and I happened nearly a year ago. Yes, it had been a prolonged issue. Yes, it had been just as much my fault as it was his fault. I will absolutely admit that I was in the wrong and should have handled things differently. I, to this day, feel guilty for how I handled things on my part in this grievance. I simply find it funny that although this thing happened (in my eyes) a long time ago, that he is still upset and angry with me over it. I recently spoke with this individual and pleaded with him to assist someone we knew in common concerning a problem this person was having. He declined my request for help saying: “Way back when…… you did this…. You tried this….” referring to things that happened quite a while ago. Once again, I will admit that this is history to me, but apparently, time is relative and is in the eye of the beholder. I do not fault this person for their frustration, anger, or resentment. What concerns me is this man’s inability to see within himself the fact that he currently has, and has for a long-time now, been holding a grudge against me. He vehemently states that he “does not hold grudges.” I guess for this man to admit that he would hold a grudge is to admit any amount of fault or measure of imperfection to be found within him. And that would not be acceptable. In this man’s eyes, he has done nothing wrong – ever. He feels that because he has served in prominent church callings in the past and present, because he holds a position of influence in his workplace, and has plenty of money and possessions, that what he thinks, says, and does must be what is right. This is a man who, hypocritically, attempts to teach others the doctrine of forgiveness. In the Doctrine and Covenants, Jesus Christ said:  

7) “…verily I say unto you, I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness, who have not sinned unto death.

8) My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.

9) Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

 10) I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

So I have a question. Can someone who holds a grudge against someone else be forgiven of their own sins according to these verses? It doesn’t sound like it to me. Can someone who holds onto anger and frustration for ANY amount of time against his fellow-man be qualified to receive forgiveness for his own sins? Ought someone who holds resentment in his heart against his neighbor to be the judge of someone who has gone to the proper channels to confess and repent of his sins? I would argue that such cannot and should not.

I do not want to come across as hypocritical myself, so I will openly admit that I once was in the same “gall of bitterness” that this man currently is in. It’s not a good place to be. It is truly “hellish”. The bitterness and frustration and anger and resentment are terrible things that can and will consume you if you do not learn to let it go. That is precisely what happened to me. I was in a place where I had to lose everything in my life before I realized that I was left holding onto nothing but this resentment I once had. So, to this person and to any others that are in a seriously bad place—a place where you think someone is beyond forgiveness in your eyes and even the eyes of society or of religious institutions or otherwise, I would like to offer my own personal testimony. My life, albeit still difficult and full of trials, has become infinitely better from the time I learned to let go of my anger and frustration – my grudge. I came to learn that the words offered by the Lord in the aforementioned scriptures are true, that we cannot be forgiven unless we forgive. From the Sermon on the Mount we hear the words, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” I do not want to come across as one of those people who believe that regardless of their actions they are forgiven and “saved” and therefore have little or no accountability for their deeds or misdeeds. I will say that I am grateful that through the atonement, and through repentance, and through the acceptance of the very nature of our trials and in life in general, that the Atonement is something that can free not only me, but to everyone. One of the prerequisites to receive the cleansing power of the Atonement is to lay upon the altar of sacrifice, our pride. This is a huge thing. It took me a long time to do this and was something I was not sure I could do. But once I chose to do so, the weight of this burden was lifted and caused me such exceeding relief that I will never allow myself to feel that way towards anyone ever again. Sure, people will continue to be people and people will be imperfect and make mistakes. But I accept that now. I don’t hold it against people for the things they have done. A wise man once asked me “Brett, Do any of us really understand the consequences for our actions and deeds?” When it comes down to it, I will not be their judge and they will not be mine. There will only be our personal interview with God as the Judge, and Christ as our advocate.

A friend of mine recently told me something that really changed my perspective on people, trials, and agency (the freedom and capability to choose). I had expressed to my friend of the guilt I felt for recent events in my life, and how I felt that I would be held accountable for the pain and suffering I caused others. I expressed my horror that some of the people I love more than anything in this life were going to be permanently affected by my poor choices and actions of the past. My friend responded: Nobody will be able to get to the judgment bar of God and say “Well, I stopped going to church because I was offended by so-and-so” or “I only smoked because I grew up around it, so it is in reality so-and-so’s fault” or “I only committed ________  of a sin because of so-and-so’s actions”. When it comes down to it, we are all responsible and accountable for our own actions. We all have the light of Christ and we all can feel the Holy Spirit testify to our hearts of truth and righteousness. We will not be found blameless unless we are willing to take responsibility for our own actions and choices, and THEN choose to cast those upon the Lord through the repentance process. Long story short, I do not believe that God will accept a response of “Because of so-and-so…” when we are asked why we fell short.

My friend was not saying this to minimize our actions or accountability. I still felt bad to know that my actions had and would likely continue to cause anxiety and pain to the people I love. However, it made me rethink my own eventual interview with God. What problems, addictions, flaws, or faults in my life have I simply blamed upon others or their actions? I was exposed to horrible things as a child and I still suffer from those effects. But when it comes down to it, can one, a handful, or a multitude of bad experiences or influences justify our own poor decisions and sins? No, they can’t. From the Book of Mormon, The Prophet Lehi teaches his sons: “…I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon. Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.” God created man to act. Sometimes we are indeed acted upon, but we are still children of God with the power and will to act, regardless of our circumstances. To rationalize, to think that outward influences have removed our ability to act for ourselves is childish at best. “Tommy took the ball away from me so I HAD to hit him” is a false concept. We can see and understand this concept as adults. We look upon that example as being very childish or even comical. I feel that his is how God sees our justification of our “inability” to act for ourselves or to make right choices. In the end, regardless of our trials and circumstances, whether they happen naturally or by commission of others, whether by our own doing or not, we will be judged based solely and strictly upon our own actions and reactions to these tests.

To sum up, I simply would like to re-invite the man I offended and everyone else who, at this time, struggles with “holding a grudge”. If you hold one: admit it, and let it go. There’s more harm being done to you by holding onto this grudge than by letting it go. Pretending you do not hold a grudge or lying about it for the sake of worldly gain is spiritually destructive. I know from personal experience this is true. I am grateful for the ability for my faults and flaws to be forgiven through the grace that is the Atonement of Christ. For those of you still struggling with this, who feel they are somehow justified in this anger because it has festered there too long and delved too deeply into your hearts to be rooted out, I invite you to ask yourself the following question: Who I am to hold the faults and flaws of others to be so severe that I would not forgive them, when the Savior himself suffered in Gethsemane and upon the cross and ultimately died to forgive all of mankind for those very things. Can I lie and say that Jesus Christ did that for me, but not for anyone else? Can I declare who is beyond grace? Am I, or any of us, greater than He?

 

Walking The Line

I am sitting in one of the quaint little cafes here in Rockland, Maine. I'm waiting for my breakfast and thinking about change and what it means to change. I again am reflecting on the mindset of people who have no desire to be anything or anyone other than who they are. In my opinion, there is a fine line that few people actually walk. This is the fine line between loving ourselves for who we are and recognizing the need for change. Finding ourselves set upon one side of this line or the other can be damning in a sense. If we love who we are too much and see no reason to improve, we risk becoming complacent in our circumstances and therefore become stagnant. On the other hand, if we focus solely on the need to change or the many improvements we feel we ought to make, we then run the danger of despising ourselves, having low self-worth and low self-esteem. Personally, I have fallen on both sides of this line. I have found myself thinking: I'm doing pretty well. I go to church, I pay tithing, I pay fast offerings, I strive to be honest, I serve in church, I do my best to be a positive influence on those people around me. I think I'm doing alright. At those times, I stopped progressing as a person. Although from the outside, I'm sure I looked as though I was doing very well, on the inside I was stationary, without any sign of growth. There have also been times when I was on the other side of the line. The depths of despair really is the only way to describe what it is like to be on the other side of the line. When you are not able see the good in yourself through all the "bad". It has been said that we often can be our own worst critic. If we are not careful, we critic ourselves took harshly. This had an adverse effect which leads to depression and doubt in ourselves, rather than to the motivation we are searching for to obtain the real and valuable change we are seeking. All too easily we can lose hope in the ability to change if we look at everything we may want to change about ourselves. This is why I feel that walking the straight and narrow line is so crucial for our growth and improvement as individuals. If we veer too far to one side or the other, we miss the mark of who we are meant to become. As I said before, I think too many of us are firmly set on one side of this line or the other, when in fact, we must walk this straight and narrow path to achieve the growth we need to become who God wants us to become.

One example of this could be the habit of smoking. I don’t think there is anyone out there that argues that smoking is a good thing. However, pretty much everyone who smokes has chosen to find themselves on one of the two sides of this line. They may have decided that they are a smoker and that is that. They may have decided that they are ok with it and this addiction is just part of who they are. They might have found a way to love themselves and their habits. Or, perhaps they have tried and tried to quit smoking. They may know it’s bad, and they may want to quit, but they have tried and failed too many times. They have lost hope, and they see themselves as “broken toys” that cannot be fixed. They are beyond the ability to change. They sometimes feel so lowly of themselves that they allow this negative self-image to affect other aspects of their lives. While a desire to quit smoking is the first step in actually quitting, taking this negative viewpoint to the extreme will not help, but only make failing that much worse. Thus, people who want to quit smoking, or bring about any meaningful change in general, need to walk this line. People must love themselves for all the good they are and their divine parentage and origins, while also seeing the need for and benefits of changing, of turning away from the bad outwardly influences, or bad inner mannerisms we have developed over time.

I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I was speaking with a friend the other day who shared with me that he was a Christian. We had a good discussion of some basic and core beliefs that all Christians shared commonly. We ultimately agreed that Christianity at its core means to accept that any person can change for the better through Jesus Christ. If you are a Christian of any denomination, you must have this firm belief at your core. There is the capability to change by will-power, and for those people who can “do it on their own”, I tip my hat to them. I know that for the rest of us, the majority of us, real change can and only will take place once the desire has been built on the foundation that we love our Savior and want to change and become better for him. This is meaningful and real change. I am grateful for second, third, fourth, and hundredth chances to change which come from the Grace of Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice. When it comes to walking that line, my savior is the one who keeps me from falling on either side and helps me to slowly, but steadily, become the man I hope to one day become.

Those are just some of the thoughts I’ve been having as of late….And breakfast was delicious, in case you were wondering.